I’m very glad that Rowdy and Pearl Girl get along well and appear to be happy living in your room. As cats mature, they become less willing to adjust to changes in their environment. So it could well be that although Rowdy enjoyed playing with your son’s two cats in the past, he’s now reached an age where the status quo satisfies him.
Cats may get along great until they reach “social maturity” between two to four years of age. Then often the cats begin to challenge one another for position within the family group. Even if Rowdy is a peaceable kitty, your son’s two cats could cause the stress from such challenges (even a silent “eye stare” from across the room can cause problems!). Two years ago when Rowdy began urinating on objects, he would have been four years old and socially mature, ready to “make his mark” (literally and figuratively) regarding his social standing. How old are your son’s cats?
On top of that, your granddaughters (toddlers? Or a bit older?) means more stress. Cats that grow up with adult humans can have difficulty understanding or accepting infants and toddlers. Human youngsters sound different, move different, and even smell different. And that can be quite a challenge for a cat.
From what you’ve written, it appears that two years ago Rowdy went from being in your home with you and DC, to suddenly having your son, his wife, two girls under the age of six move in, AND losing his friend DC. In cat terms, that’s a tornado! I’d have been amazed if Rowdy hadn’t had some sort of behavioral acting out. Urinating on objects spreads the cat’s signature scent and actually self-calms the kitty. Even though some of the other “emotional turmoil” took place after this initial event, the human stress most certainly could have kept Rowdy upset.
Offering Rowdy a “safe room” where he isn’t forced to deal with your son’s cats or young daughters likely is the kindest decision you can make. I’m sure the other cats and your granddaughters are wonderful, but Rowdy can’t know that and he may baptize items with urine just to calm himself down. I would personally not allow Rowdy free run of the house. You could allow him out when you’re there to directly supervise. Give him opportunities to be good.
The product Feliway, an analogue of cat cheek pheromones, can help by calming all the cats so they feel more comfortable in their environment. It comes as a plug-in or spray, available at pet product stores or over the Internet. Also, colleagues of mine have recommended a similar product called NaturVet ™ AtEase, a natural herbal calming spray that may help take the edge off stress.
More: continued here
